The spectacle spectacle!

‘Hey Ram’ is one of the finest films ever made in India. More than the beautifully layered script or the fantastic shots, what really hits you is the honesty of that script. The movie ends with the protagonist picking up Gandhi’s glasses and sandals after he is shot, which his grandson gives to Tushar Gandhi in the last scene. A beautifully fictitious ending that is almost poetic. It was also not very far from reality.

In the 1930s, Gandhi gifted his glasses to an Indian army colonel. His 1910 Zenith watch went to his grand niece and his sandals were gifted to a British army officer in 1931, before the London talks. In the last 79 odd years, no Tom Dick Harry or Anne Susan Mary gave a rat’s ass about the location of these memorabilia. 
Like all memorabilia do, they reached the hands of a collector who wanted to auction it (Except in this case, the guy – James Otis is a dickhead). News breaks out about the auction and all of a sudden, blood is boiling, people are disturbed, patriotism reaches feverish proportion and everybody wants the auction stopped. In what fuckin joy ? If not for the piece of news in BBC, would any of these self proclaimed patriotic psychos even know about the existence of these things? I dont think so. And pray tell what is so wrong with any of this being auctioned anyway? Its an auction – a place where people ‘value’ stuff. Far cry from the godforsaken museums back home.
And did I mention James Otis is a dickhead? The joker actually has the balls to go on record asking the Indian Government to serve its ‘poor’ people in return for his stupendous kindness in giving the stuff back for free. And the neurotic Indian news channels dont get it. They keep interviewing the jackass for his demented sound bytes.
Enter Mallya. The dude walks in, bids the bid, closes the lid on the damn thing and gets the PR that he righfully deserves.  What do the rest of them have to say now? The government is stumped – its completely ineffective and unimaginative effort has been exposed. Ambika soni is looking for a calm place to bury her head. And the know-it-all Mr. Ramachandra Guha is busy telling television stations that it is a shame that a liqor baron had to save the teetotalling ‘Mahatma’s’ belongings. Fuck you.
All I have to say in the matter is this: Every buck that I have spent in this lifetime on countless kingfisher pints, is money well spent! Somebody pat me!! 
….and cheers to that 😉

9 thoughts on “The spectacle spectacle!

  1. First of all, very well written !Second, after more than a quarter of a decade of existence in this world, I have come to realize that those involved in the hue and cry do not give a damn about the issues and the ones that do truly fight for the issues do not get the limelight and probably don’t care either. Third, I do like R.Guha’s writing and my perception of him did take a hit. Ah, who cares anyway ?Fourth, pat pat. (not for KF, but for this piece of writing) 🙂

  2. All I have to say is “Ben Affleck nicknamed to become a ‘XX’ sibling and the singular summary of action of a cowboy grinding a cigar between his teeth”

  3. That ended in a brilliant flourish. I’ve taken to separating the glycerine from KF pints over the last month or so. You should try it .. The taste of pure KF beer without the preservative. Though KF rocks!The funniest thing about the brouhaha around the auction was that Gandhi gave away all these things 🙂 -Z

  4. Anonymous: Thanks. Actually, i dont hate Guha totally myself. I quite like his pieces on Gandhi and am actually waiting for his upcoming Gandhi biography. However, I think he comes across as juvenile when he talks about stuff like Narmada.Arch: ;)JustPathe: You are forgetting that ‘Filter Coffee’ is not adviced for family viewing. So feel free ;)Z: That is totally cool. How do you do that? (I mean the glycerine thing)

  5. Take uno bottle of chilled KF. One glass half full of water. Tilt the bottle into water at 45 degrees. Glycerine is heavier than water so the glycerine in the beer will sink into the water in the glass. About 30 seconds in all. Practice and enjoy! :)This is like applied philosophy, putting the half full-half empty silliness to good practical use, innit? The best possible use. :)- Z

  6. Tilt the bottle into water at 45 degrees. should be :”Tilt the bottle into the water fully going to vertical by starting at 45 degrees. “:)Z

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